You may remember from, a few months back that Henrique started talking to people at his university. Now he’s helped us kick off by listing his Idealist Group on Idealist.org. Nice work, Henrique!

Click to see Henrique's Idealist Group on Idealist

Welcome back, Connectors!  At this week’s meetings we shared with over thirty of you a more fleshed-out vision for how Idealist Groups can work, and fielded lots of insightful comments and questions. The feedback has been really positive, and we’re looking forward to more meetings coming up next week. Have a great weekend, all!

Discussing Idealist Groups at this morning's meeting

We’ve got lots of exciting work to do. Good luck in the new year!

One of our goals is to create a video to explain the ideas behind the network more easily. We just got out of  a very productive brainstorming session, and started producing some initial sketches and script ideas.

Hopefully it'll look a bit better than this

Soon we’ll be ready to share these ideas with the 20+ of you who said you’d like to help with video (or with anyone else who’s interested!). Do you have an idea that would help us make this into a compelling visual?

We had another excellent Connector orientation last night. Lots of great questions were asked and answered, and almost everyone stuck around to chat when the meeting was over.

Thanks to everyone who came and brought such wonderful energy and enthusiasm!

Sharing our answers to the 3Qs

Remember my bar night with my friends Kate and Dave? Dave told me that our conversation that night reminded him of this three-minute TED Talk by Derek Sivers:

Do you tend to be more of a dancing “nut,” a “first follower,” or one of the others who join the dancing crowd? There’s no right answer; I’m just curious how this might resonate with members of the network.

For better or worse, this year I’ve been more of a…fourth dancer. Maybe my 2012 resolution should be to jump up and groove, or at least first-follow, a little more often.

Did you miss our last Connector Orientations? We’ve got one on the calendar for next Tuesday, December 13th. Click here to sign up.

This orientation is for people who want to help shape the Connector role with IdealistNYC, and to start playing that role in their community. (If you are intrigued, but still not 100% sure, that’s fine too.)

If you are not familiar with this whole idea, please watch this video before attending the orientation. Thanks!

In my last blog post I promised to ask the 3Qs at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Some unexpected things came up, and while I did make the Jello, I didn’t have that conversation with my family. But I did pose the questions to some friends at a bar this week and remembered how fun it can be.

Botanica in Nolita has a back room that's quiet enough to have a thoughtful conversation about the 3Qs...at least on a Tuesday night. (Photo by Youngna Park / NYMag.com)

At Botanica on Tuesday, my friend Dave asked “What’s new at Idealist?” I gave him a quick rundown of the meetings we’ve held so far and quickly explained the Connector role. This was easy because our mutual friend Kate, who also sat with us, is a natural connector. (Evidence: Dave and I wouldn’t have collaborated on things if Kate hadn’t introduced us.) I used her as Exhibit A and said, “Once we’ve invited all these Kate-types to get together and support one another, then we think they could help a lot of different people in their communities by asking three simple questions. Want to try them out?”

They were game:

Julia: OK. What’s one thing you’ve wanted to do?

Kate: Well…I kind of want to learn to sing.

Dave: I’ve always wanted to go skydiving.

Julia: There’s a writing project I’ve been meaning to start for a year.

Lesson #1: No intention is too “light.”

Now, these are not the kinds of ideas folks typically share, because usually Connectors ask something like “What’s something you’ve wanted to do, big or small, to make the world a better place?” Ultimately, our goal at Idealist is to use the Q’s to fuel positive change, big or small, in neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and other settings.

We continued:

Julia: Now, what’s stopping each of us from doing those things?

Kate: I’m a little nervous about singing in front of a stranger, and I don’t know how to find the right voice teacher.

Dave: Um, fear of death.

Julia: I’m prioritizing too many “extracurriculars” and don’t know how to execute it the way I want to.

Lesson #2: Take turns in the “hot seat.”

Dave pointed out later that my participation, and the fact that we took turns, helped to build trust. Voicing an intention that you haven’t acted on is personal and can be intense, even between friends, even at a bar. As Connectors ask these questions more and more, it might be easy to forget how it feels to answer them. If someone’s opening up to me, I don’t want to take that for granted.

Julia: OK. So what would help each of us do what we want to do?

Kate: I’m realizing that this isn’t about finding a vocal coach. I think if I could start out singing with friends, more casually, that would help me get more confident.

Dave: I need to get a group of people together to go skydiving.

Julia: And I need to stop being such a perfectionist and just start.

Lesson #3: Know when to quiet your inner Connector.

Note that the “obstacles” we shared in Q2 weren’t the actual obstacles!

In my experience, Connectors are people who really, really want to help – which means we need to be sure we’re really, really listening. There can be a lot of satisfaction in suggesting a solution to someone, and we need to be careful not to get carried away and propose solutions before we understand the real problem. We also need to trust that others in the circle may have better solutions than our own.

If I had asked Kate to answer all the questions first, and then turned to Dave, and then gone myself, we might have lost steam or become distracted. Once we all shared our intentions, we got really curious about the obstacles and very committed to scouting solutions. We saved suggestions for the end, and avoided any risk of “Connector as expert” power dynamic.

So what suggestions did we come up with? Well…

• I told Kate I know someone who actually started a weekly singing circle in Brooklyn and I could introduce her. I swear I am not making that up.
• Kate and I didn’t promise to go skydiving, but we did suggest that Dave look at sites like Groupon and LivingSocial to see if there are any cheap skydiving deals that might make it easy for him to invite friends to go.
• Kate and Dave asked me to share my writing prompts with them, and they’re going to help kick off my series.

Pretty fun! Like lots of wound-up, overprogrammed New Yorkers, the 3Qs need space to breathe. Why not take ‘em to a bar or a holiday party this season? If you do, I’d love to hear how it goes.

The last couple of months have been really exciting as we’ve begun to hear stories of early adopters taking concrete steps to make this network a reality where they are.

After seeing people take these initial steps, and based on feedback from the orientations we held in September and October, we’re improving the Connector orientation materials. If you’ve already been through an orientation, don’t worry: the basics are the same. But we’ve found some areas where we can be more clear, particularly with the next steps a Connector can take to get started in their setting.

If you’ve already attended the first presentation or watched it on video, and you’re ready to be a Connector, you can sign up for the next Connector orientation here.

New York’s diversity offers us a unique opportunity to start a multi-lingual, multi-cultural movement. Even at this early stage, we already represent over 20 languages, including all seven officially-supported languages of the city of New York: English, Spanish, Chinese, Russian, Korean, Italian, and Haitian Creole. Muy bien!

Languages spoken by IdealistNYC volunteers

My grandma's Jell-o salad. Yes, that is grated cheese atop the marshmallow topping.

Ah, Thanksgiving. The stuffing, the mashed potatoes, Grandma’s Jell-o…and inevitably, the moment when my eager sister declares, “OK, it’s time to go around and each name something we’re thankful for!” While the answers are always heartfelt, they’re not always substantial – or, if they are, the conversation might devolve into awkward political arguments or even gossip.

What if we replaced that icebreaker with the 3Qs? (For those who are new to this blog, the “3Qs” are three questions we encourage Connectors to ask their communities in order to uncover hidden good intentions and help others make good on them.)

Picture it: While we slice the pumpkin pie, my aunt might ask how things are going at work. I could tell her, “We’ve been building a network of people, starting in New York City, who identify as ‘Connectors’ in their community. We believe they can get a lot done by asking friends, neighbors, and colleagues what they’d like to do to make the world better; why they haven’t done it; and what would help.” If her eyes start to glaze over, I can quickly move from the theoretical to: “Here, let’s try it. What’s something you wanted to do since last Thanksgiving? It can be anything.”

Imagine what might follow – how much we might learn from and about one another with the help of these neutral and just-specific-enough questions. Sure, Grandma might say she wants to teach us the Jell-o recipe once and for all, so we stop pestering her to make it. But maybe my mom wants us to participate in the Storycorps National Day of Listening, or my aunt wishes she could improve some aspect of life in her assisted living community, or my cousin’s been meaning to help with hurricane relief but isn’t sure where to send donations. How might we feel after sharing these ideas, and how might they inform our plans for December and the new year?

I think I’ll try to find out. If you try it too, please leave a comment or drop me a line to let me know what happens: julia [at] idealist.org.

Connect to Sabrina on Idealist

Sabrina Whiteman used the 3Qs to help friends take their next step:

I started the conversation very casually sharing the exciting things Idealist was up to. Very brief. Then I just dropped the three questions. Both women expressed wanting to work with children and gift-giving. Just so happens I used to be on the board of a nonprofit [Brooklyn Children's Holiday Fund] that does that for Christmas. I recommended participating in their program because you see the direct results, gifts go to the most needy. Done deal.

Right now my role would be to remind them closer to the date and possibly introduce them both via email to the volunteer coordinator.

I’m still practicing my connector moves but I feel like I am off to a decent start.

Thanks for sharing, Sabrina!

Connect to Phyllis on Idealist

It works!!!  A big thank you to Phyllis Gutterman for taking the leap and hosting our first staff-less group meeting.

Last Friday, 18 cultural leaders of Mamaroneck, NY participated in a 3Qs meeting in the community space of the local library hosted by Phyllis, who is a Connector. These leaders included directors of local theaters, the director of the library, the directors of the school district’s enrichment programs, artists guild, arts council, senior citizens forum, and the local TV station. 

Everyone shared their answers to “What have you/or your organization wanted to do? Why haven’t you done it? What would help you to do it?” and then began addressing the obstacles that were raised and taht make it challenging to serve their community to their fullest potential.

“I know who I wanted for this meeting, and I had for a while, even before I met you guys [Idealist]. These people really needed to get together.”  What had stopped her from hosting such a meeting previously, Phyllis said, was context. She needed a “hook” and a reason. After hearing about IdealistNYC and the 3Qs, Phyllis saw a way to bring the group together.

From the very first email invitation she sent to the group, through reviewing the agenda at the beginning of the meeting, she kept reminding everyone that “these are the simple questions. This is it. This is all we’re going to go through.” Once everyone had a chance to talk, they broke out for a light lunch so they could keep talking about the issues that were raised.

Participants mingling after the 3Qs

The meeting was a tremendous success, and generated a lot of opportunities for collaboration: “Most everyone wants more local people to know who they are and know about their programs. Everyone needs more volunteers. Not everyone knew everyone — which was interesting because we’re all in the same 10-mile radius, we’ve all heard of each other.”

At the end of the meeting, the group decided they needed a mailing list and maybe a blog to stay in touch and share information about their programs and events.  Phyllis plans to find volunteers from among the group who have experience with lists and blogs and can help set them up and is also scheduling a follow-up meeting because everyone really wanted to get together again soon.

Congratulations, Phyllis, and thank you to all the participants in Mamorneck. We  look forward to hearing how things progress in the months ahead!

And, here are some tips that Phyllis recommends for hosting a 3Qs meeting:

Getting people together:
“It wasn’t easy to get everyone together. It’s never easy to fill a room. After I sent out the invitations, I did follow-up calls, and a reminder email two days before. I got some emails that were like “huh?”  I met with some people and told them ‘We’re going to explore. We’ll just get together. There are some people you don’t know, there are some people I don’t know. Would you be willing to just do that for a couple of hours?’” And, they were.

Finding a meeting space:
When it came to finding a space for the meeting, Phyllis knew just where to look: “We have a beautiful new library that people aren’t using. It has a community room that anyone can use — if it’s for the betterment of the community, it’s free.”

A smooth-running agenda:
From the beginning she made it clear that they would each have only three minutes to give their answers. At the beginning of the meeting, she asked if everyone agreed — “Can you all promise you can do this so we can all get a chance to talk and get out on time?”  This was a great way to be sure she had group buy-in so they could all stay on track.

Thinking about hosting a 3Qs meeting where you are?  Let us know and we’ll be happy to talk with you more!

Cross-posted from the Idealist Blog:

Our 2011 staff retreat. Will you be in the 2012 photo?

Idealist is searching for a Director of Development to be based in our New York City office. The application deadline is November 21. If you are excited about this possibility, or know someone who would be, please check out the job listing and feel free to spread the word. Thanks!

There are now over 200 of us registered on Idealist as Connectors or as Supporters of IdealistNYC. It’s been great to meet people from all over the metro area, and on this map you can see how many Connectors and Supporters are located in each ZIP code (names excluded for privacy). Click to open a fullscreen, interactive map.

Connectors and Supporters in 58 zip codes!

If you logged in to your Idealist account today, you probably noticed that things look a little different. We’re in the middle of some design changes that will help you find what you’re looking for more easily. You can find some general information about these changes on our home page blog, but there are a few updates that directly affect Connectors.

The redesigned search bar

To find other Connectors:

If you’re logged in as a Connector, you can now search for other Connectors using the main search on the redesigned site header. Use the drop-down to select “Connector” as a search type, or click on Connectors on the right-hand side of the header. Please note that only Connectors can see this.

Saved Searches and Email Alerts:

Your account menu has moved to the upper right-hand corner of the page, where you’ll always have quick access to your bookmarks, saved searches, profile, and preferences.

Posting listings:

If you want to post an event, volunteer opportunity, program, or resource on behalf of yourself or any organizations you administer, just click “Post a listing” on the top right corner.

Got any comments on the new design?

Please tell us what you think in the Comments below.

Last night we hosted another presentation about IdealistNYC and 32 people attended. At each presentation, the questions raised during the Q&A are more specific, almost as if the participants had heard the last round of questions and then focused on more specific aspects of this project.

Here are a few examples from last night: “Will you be filming people answering the 3Qs?” (Answer:  Yes!)  ”Are there any liability issues a Connector might encounter doing this work?” (Short answer: None that we can think of.) “If this all works out, how do you imagine it will look five years from now?” (Short version: Five years is a long time, but we imagine Connectors and Idealist Groups working in communities around the world, making it much easier for people to take action, locally and globally.)

We’ve been collecting the questions you ask during these presentations, and are drafting an FAQ to address common themes. In the meantime, if you have a friend who might be interested in IdealistNYC, invite them to attend the next presentation on Thursday, November 17th.

Connect to Henrique on Idealist

A 3Qs conversation can be as simple as talking to a friend or two, or it can be a larger event. Henrique was able to get some time at a student government meeting to introduce them to IdealistNYC. Here’s his story:

I originally spoke to a friend, Ben Schaub, who is a member of the United Student Government at the Fordham University Lincoln Center campus. At first he was somewhat apprehensive of the project – he felt that IdealistNYC, and the Connectors’ role, was something that was already being filled (in terms of the university) by the student government. Nonetheless, he offered to give me some time to talk at a USG meeting about the project.

They reacted very positively to the idea. I pitched it as a project that is much less formally structured than the student government and much more ad hoc, in the sense that to be a part of it people only need to know about it, and that its goals can be achieved in whatever way works for those involved. I stressed that the only goal was to get people from ideas to action, using whatever means, contacts, or connections are available to them. They liked the idea of an “idealistic pragmatism,” and I also emphasized the lack of an agenda, positions, etc. involved in this project.

At the end of the meeting with the student government body I told them about a project that another friend of mine, Brandon Jackson, is heading, called Faces of Transformation in the USA, sponsored by Nations United. His project has two simultaneous goals: to reach out to schools and increase awareness and teaching of multiculturalism and conflict resolution skills among young children (aged 4-9), and to develop a smartphone application for young children that encourages these two virtues. By the time of that United Student Government meeting he had asked me to join his team, and so I used the opportunity to both give a real example to the student government members of how the Idealist project can work, as well as to test to myself on whether I could reach out, “connect,” and get some results. One of the student government members’ mother, it turned out, is a teacher in Brooklyn, and we are now in contact with her about the project.

So far, it seems that the three questions are a very effective way to quickly and succinctly get across the general idea and purpose of IdealistNYC. I’ve tried it both by introducing and using the 3Qs (with the student government body and some other friends) and also without using the 3Qs (with my original student government friend, among others). The conversations where I used the 3Qs have flowed much more easily and I’ve gotten my point across faster and with less effort.